Hey what’s up, I’m reaching out because I really have no idea what happened. Normally my two little kids are getting along. The past three weeks however, it has been sooo hard at my house with them. Whenever they are together fights break out, jealousy rises, and I’m so angry at them. Lately they don’t listen to anything I say and I feel sooo down. I don’t know what to do. I am trying to just keep that connection going and not to overreact when the fights break out and just hope this stage will pass. Any tips?
Dad in Israel
Dad in Israel,
Hang in there, you are not alone! Every family has kids that go through stages where the kids are getting along better than at other times. It’s a normal process, but you are doing the right thing by not reacting out of anger- that would only ruin and push them away further. If you are looking for a quick fix, anger might help but you’ll pay a heavy price down the road.
It could be that they feel they need extra individual attention apart from one another. Check to see that you are spending enough time with each one separately. As far as your reactions to the fighting, do your best to keep the cool, it will have a huge impact and you won’t regret it afterwards. If you need to have a glass of red wine at the end of the day but don’t over do it. Better yet, get a short but consistent exercise program that can get you the energy you need to be the best you can be.
My personal Rabbi taught me that when you are in the heat of the fight and you feel that you are going to overreact to isolate yourself for a few minutes, and pray that G-d help you. Then go back out there and be the cool and calm parent. Hope this helps!